Falling from Grace, Part II

          I was proud of having followed the doctor's orders by increasing my protein intake, but at my next appointment the doctor was not impressed. "You need to eat meat," he said, "red meat."

          I balked, upset, and asked, "If I can get enough protein otherwise, why should I eat meat?"

          He said, "Red meat is the original diet of our species, It contains important hormones. You don't want to have the metabolism of a chicken or a fish, do you?'

         "I don't particularly want the metabolism of a raging bull, either," I returned, and I started to point out that his first reason fell into the logical fallacy of Appeal to Tradition (Fault #3), but at $150 an hour I decided not to argue and asked instead for the alternatives.

         "You can take supplements consisting of the spleen and kidneys and other offal of the red meat animals," he said.

          I said, "Never mind." I wasn't liking this, but my $400 already invested kept me from walking away.

          Then the doctor led me to his elecrtric-impulse machine to find out why I didn't want to eat meat

          "Does Diana not want to eat meat because she is sympathetic to animals?" he asked and touched my finger with the electric wand. The machine drew a steep, sharply peaked line on its screen and whined a high note, meaning "No."

          "Is it because she thinks meat is not healthy for her?"

          "No."

          "Is it because she doesn't know where to buy meat or how to cook it?"

          "No."

          "Is it because she feels superior by not eating meat."

          "Yes!"

          I flung my hand away, crying, "I don't believe it!" To think that I thought I was superior to someone else just because I didn't eat meat was preposterous. The patient look on the doctor's face ("I've dealt with your type before") also upset me, but I was wasting time (money) by resisting, so I composed myself and finished the exam. Then the doctor told me where to buy good, natural meat, and the appointment was over

          I went straight to the recommended meat market, but I hardly knew what to do there. "I've been a vegetarian for thirty years," I told the saleswoman, "and now the doctor wants me to eat red meat." She nodded compassionately. I think she had met patients of this doctor before.

          "What about lamb?" I asked, thinking vaguely that lambs were little and would be an easy place to begin. But she said a lot of people didn't like lamb, bringing up the idea that I might not like the taste of meat. I said, "Well, what about lean beef?"

          At that the customer behind me spoke up "Don't overcook it," he advised. "Overcooking meat destroys the enzymes." Then he added that he ate his raw.

          I recoiled. The saleswoman diverted me by saying if I wanted lean meat, I should try buffalo, so I bought a pound of frozen ground buffalo meat and went home,

where I put on a pot of brown rice and steamed a whole bundle of kale, then ate everything mixed together with brewer's yeast, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar, topped with a sprinkling of walnuts. It was a delicious dinner.

          The next day I found a recipe for sausage shepherd's pie. I thought I could use it by substituting buffalo for the sausage. At 5:00 I gathered my ingredients. I put a skillet on the fire. I dumped the meat into the skillet. It sizzled. It browned. It smelled. It tainted my pan!

         "Okay, Diana," I told myself. "People all over the world do this. So can you."

          I made my buffalo shepherd's pie and put it in the oven. Forty-five minutes later I took it out. I looked at it. I divided it into four parts and put one on my plate. I looked at my dinner. I picked up my fork. I ate meat.

         Nothing happened. Angry gods didn't stomp on the roof. Doe-Eyed buffalo babies didn't wail and cry. My stomach didn't rebel, and my bowels didn't complain. The only difference has been my shame in admitting to my vegetarian friends wha I have done. Here was the vindication of the doctor's machine. I admit it now. I am one of those fallen from grace. I am cast from the garden. I belong with the less enlightened. I eat meat.

Next week: "A Boiled Egg in the Wilderness and Other Ways to Cook an Egg"
Recipes from this post:
     Steamed greens and rice
     Buffalo shepherd's pie



STEAMED GREENS AND RICE
serves 1

Ingredients

1 bundle of kale, chard, collards, or other greens
Mushrooms
1 cup brown rice, cooked
Olive oil
Balsamic vinegar
Brewer's yeast (optional)
Walnuts
Salt and pepper
Preparation
Strip the leaves off the stems of the kale. Slice the mushrooms.
To make
Steam the greens. Steam them well, though don't let them get mushy. Meanwhile, sauté the mushrooms in the olive oil. When the greens are cooked to your satisfaction and the mushrooms browned, mix them together. Mound the rice in the middle of a large dinner plate. Put the greens mixture on top of the rice. Give yourself a generous helping of brewer's yeast (maybe 2 heaping tablespoons) . Pour some olive oil over that and then some vinegar, to taste. Crush some walnuts in your fingers as you sprinkle them on top of everything. Use salt and pepper as you like.



BUFFALO SHEPHERD'S PIE
serves 4

Ingredients

1 1/2 pounds sweet potatoes
1 pound butternut squash
1 medium russet potato
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
1 1/2 pounds ground buffalo
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 cups chopped onions
1 tablespoon minced garlic
3/4 cup frozen peas
3/4 cup frozen corn kernels
2/3 cup nonfat powdered milk
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
Preparation
Thaw the meat, if it is frozen. Peel the sweet and russet potatoes, and peel and seed the squash. Cut all these vegetables into 2-inch pieces. Chop the onions. Mince the garlic. Grease an 8-inch square pan. Preheat the oven to 350º.

To make

Boil the sweet potatoes, squash, and russet potatoes together in a large pot of water until the vegetables are tender, about 25 minutes. Drain, mash, and stir the potatoes over medium heat for about 5 minutes to evaporate the excess moisture. Add butter. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook the buffalo meat in a skillet over medium heat, just as though it were sausage, until it is brown. Because buffalo isn't sausage, though, it will render no fat for sautéing the onions and garlic, so lift the cooked meat from the skillet and add 1 tablespoon olive oil, then the onions and garlic. When the onions are translucent, add the sauté to the buffalo meat. Let everything cool a bit; then add the rest of the ingredients (not the potato mixture) and mix well. Spoon the buffalo mixture into the prepared pan. Spread the potato mixture over the top. Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour so that everything heats thoroughly and potatoes have begun to brown. Let the shepherd's pie sit for five minutes before serving. Eat if you dare.